You know how some people have a "Bucket List" of things they want to do before they die? I have the opposite--a list of stuff that I never, ever want to do, and will do them only if it is the only way to prevent my death or the death, kidnapping, or maiming of a loved one. The first item on the list is "Go Sky Diving." I think "Go for a Walk Alone on the Monkey Trail" just made the list.
My former boss joined the Foreign Service and moved with his wife and 4 children to Taiwan. Together he and his wife are writing a blog about their experience. Her post today is "Death by Monkey." I would have completely lost it if I had been in her place!
So far, here is my "Stuff I Never Want to Do" list or "Only If I'd Otherwise Kick the Bucket" list, in no particular order:
1. Go sky diving.
2. Go bungee jumping.
3. Go hang gliding or paragliding.
(Can you tell I'm afraid of heights? I have a lot of falling nightmares.)
4. Become a reporter in a war zone.
5. Run for national political office.
6. Support my husband in a run for national political office.
7. Become an astronaut.
8. Go spelunking.
9. Go on a deep dive in a submarine.
(Yes, I'm also afraid of small, enclosed spaces.)
10. Go for a walk alone on The Monkey Trail.
11. ... More to come later.
There are many other things that I could add to an "I Will Never Do This!" list, like "I will never rob a bank," but I'm staying away from a huge list of terrifying stuff. My list here is the kind of stuff that may actually show up on someone else's Bucket List. I just don't have it in me to do them. And finding myself all alone on a trail with dozens of angry monkeys is something I really, really do not want to do. (The winged monkeys from the Wizard of Oz have also shown up in my nightmares.)
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So, what are some things that might show up on someone else's Bucket List but you would never EVER want to do them?
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